Nella, the second wife of Bernard Stapel
After Bet Hintzen died early 1924, Bernard Stapel had to take care of his eight children himself. This was near impossible for a railway engineer with irregular service hours and working long days away from home. Fortunately his eldest son Chris, 24 years old, resigned from his work in Woerden, found himself a job in the Roosendaal tax office and took it upon him to help run his fathers household. He stayed until the end of September 1925, when his eldest sister Betsie was almost 17 and considered capable of taking over the household. That is exactly what Betsie did up till that day, probably early 1928 when her father told them that he was going to marry again... Nella van der Laan was born as the third child of five in Venlo. Her parents' families originated from the north, but they came eventually in 1885 to Roosendaal where father van der Laan was relocated as a head-conductor. Four years later her youngest sister Anna was born there, married J.C. Meeuwisse in 1912 and had two children with him. Their father had died in 1919 at 68 but in 1928 mother van der Laan Auwerda was still living in Roosendaal and Nella stayed in Flushing where her eldest brother Gijsbert had married in 1914. We do not know how Nella van der Laan met Bernard Stapel, but they shared a common past in Roosendaal and Flushing, the latter via the Hintzen connection. Therefore it is possible that Bernard's first father in law played a role in making their match. Nella was entered in the civil registry on Bernard Stapel's family card March 29, 1928 coming from Flushing on their wedding day.   Spoorstraat 210, backyard ±1928From the left: Ben, Rie, Marinus, Betsie, their father Bernard, stephmother Nella and opa Chris Hintzen. The background building is the corner-cafe where father Ben occasionally sipped his "old brown".
Photo in perspective.
Left: Our steph-oma Nella, probably shortly married; most are smiling. It reflects the situation quite well, from a family relations perspective. Buttoned up unevenly, her white apron coat reflects a nervous haste, but makes it clear that she intends to run the place. Her face taut, Nella hides uncertain behind the shoulder of my greatgrandpapa Chris. As an 48 year old spinster, she suddenly has to know how to get along with such tall children, but lacks the parental intuition. Betsie is the centre of this picture. After her mother's death she calmly managed the household for 3 years and stands as a solid buffer between Nella and young Ben and Rie. To cut the story short, After Nella's first wedding year only Willem, Betsie, Ben and Rie remained at home. Nella was alone again at the end of 1935, the year Bernard Stapel died.
Announcement and invitation.
On the right an extract from one of our family papers. On the back of the wedding announcement of "Cris J. Stapel and Guus M. Zon", dated 21-Dec-1933, my father Willem wrote this list of names and addresses, possibly to prepare for his own wedding early May. Apart from confirming who was important for him and where they lived, the list shows that he obviously considered Nella's mother and sister Anna (Meeuwisse) as part of the family and that Marinus was a real family man, staying some 6 years at aunt Lies' from the moment he left home until his marriage.
C. Stapel
Postjeskade 39
(Amsterdam)H. Stapel Narcissenstr. 34b
(Rotterdam)J. Stapel "Hertog Hendrik"
(Den Helder)M. Stapel Burmanstr. 29 II
(Amsterdam)Opoe v.d. Laan Wouwschestr. 2
(Roosendaal)Meeuwissen Boul. Antwerpia 24
(Roosendaal)B. Remeyn Spoorstraat 200
(Roosendaal)Fam. Stapel Spoorstr. 210
(Roosendaal)J.C. Hintzen Tuinstraat 38
(Zwolle).
Spoorstraat 210, backyard ±1930 Visiting Willem's fam., Kon.Willem III str.11, Bergen op Zoom, summer 1946  Nella and a laughing Bernard on the backyard bench
From the left: Carel, Oma Mien Swolfs Findhammer, Ellie, Nella.Above two more pictures with Nella, whom we used to call "oma Roosendaal" to tell her apart from our oma Swolfs Findhammer sharing our home. Nella got on well with Willem Stapel. Nella had a difficult relationship with most of Bernards children (as I learned only much later during my family search), but she and my father got on quite well. After he came home with Annie Swolfs, his conversion to Roman Catholicism took years before being accepted by his family and, according to Corry Venema Stapel, his father saw their liaison as a recipe for unhappiness. Perhaps their shared experience of having to overcome family resistance may have strengthened the bond. She sent a postcard signed "mother" at the 25th birthday of my mother and another one signed "opoe" in 1940 from Leeuwarden. I remember visiting her with my father in Roosendaal, on the landing of her upstairs appartment a huge hammered copper vase with peacock tail-feathers and yellow cobs. By the end of the war he accompanied her when she moved to her family in Leeuwarden and got his fire baptism as their train was attacked in an air raid. A year or two later she came to visit us in Bergen op Zoom. And August 6, 1947, my father, my brother Ben and I went to visit "Oma Roosendaal" in Leeuwarden, sending a postcard of the Enkhuizen - Stavoren ferry to fam. W.Stapel. Less than a year later Nella died, June 15 1948 in Leeuwarden, as is written on her gravestone.
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